Well, today I am going to blog about something that has been on my mind for awhile. I haven't wanted to write about it because I don't want to get everyone excited, but I just can't stop thinking about this topic: Having Kids. Before you get all excited, I have no announcement. I am just pondering the whole thing.
Chris and I have been married for almost 2 years, in a couple months, but have dated for about 6 years now. We have been getting the big question: "so when are you two going to have kids" since the day we got married. It was alot more often at first, but we still get it every now and then. We would always answer oh, maybe in a couple years. Well, those couple years are coming up and I realize I am getting older. But also, I still feel so young and I know that it is something that is FOREVER once it happens. You can never go back to being just the two of you, for a long time at least. So its a huge change. I know everyone says it's worth and I am sure it is. I know you will never be fully ready but, I just want to be sure we are ready for the challenges when the time comes.
There are so many things that scare me about having kids:
1. the pain
2. finding daycare
3. paying for daycare
4. What if Chris is deployed again or just gone for a week, can I do it by myself?
5. How to balance working and being a mother?
6. Will I ever get good sleep again? I don't mean sleeping in necessarily, because that doesn't really happen anyway, but just a good night's sleep. I have to have sleep or I am very grouchy. How can I work after being up half the night?
7. Being responsible for another life.
8. What kind of world are they coming into?
9. EVERYTHING! LOL
We have been around kinds alot more in the past couple years. Our friends have two beautiful little girls and also Chris' step-sister's little boy and girl, and many more. I love being around them, but I also like that they go home and I have my time again. I keep hearing about people from high school/college who are pregnant or already have 5 year olds. I think well, if they can do it, then surely I can. I won't lie; we have discussed it. And I have thought, maybe we are ready. But there is still something holding me back. Maybe it's just the fear of the unknown and so many changes to my body and life. Maybe it's that i've spent years trying NOT to get preggo that it's hard to switch the mindset. Does everyone go through this? I know I tend to overthink/over-analyze things and maybe I'm just freaking myself out too much. I mean, practically every women does it, maybe even several times.
I think I'd be alot more ready if Chris was the one who had to carry a baby and give birth! Haha!
Wouldn't that be nice!
10 comments:
You will know when the time is right. Just that you are thinking about it is a step. The pain part isn't that bad. They give you stuff for that! Here are my thoughts. WE are asking cause we naturally want grandkids someday. You are my only chance for that. But ultimately the decision is yours and Chris' and nobody else's. I will live if you don't have them, but it would be nice if you did. I waited 10 years before you came along. I never once regretted it because I had always wanted kids. Yes, there were definitely some sleepless nights, but that does not last forever. And balancing work and kids gets to be routine. It is an adjustment at first but you get used to doing it. And the feeling you get when your kid does things that make you really proud to be a parent is just unbelievable. And then they grow up and leave home and you miss them like crazy but also kind of enjoy the break and having time for yourselves again... lol. Then you look forward to having grandkids! Anyway, do what is right for you and Chris. Love you both! MOM
I hear ya!!! Loud and clear! I feel I am ready, but with this huge move and the unknown I am not sure when it will happen. We, like you and Chris, have been successful in NOT getting preggo that it is hard to think about kids at this point. The cost of daycare and working also keeps me up at night sometimes.
I know you will be a fabulous mother when you do have kids and I can't wait until you take them on their first trip to Chicago to see me!!! :)
By the way, thank you mom for making my cry at work, :)
I meant to thank YOUR mom, haha
You know, in our house having kids is a VERY touchy subject. The first was not very well accepted until after he was born. Matt and I were scared but a lot of that was that we were the only ones being supportive of each other. Then the second was an upset. We had been trying for a couple of years and when it finally happened it was gone. Then came sis. Another unaccepted notion. Of course, the crap she went through didn't help matters. Some people didn't fully accept her until the adoption was complete, some didn't take to her until she developed a personality and others were open from day one. It was almost a rerun of the first. Honestly, I was done. I thought God had made his point that not only did he and the others not feel good about me as a mother, but I had to fight to keep them. That wasn't okay with Matty. He wanted another. We had been told we couldn't have anymore and I had accepted that but he wanted to try anyway. At first we were going to wait awhile but it took so long before that I didn't want to be preggo when it was time for sis' next surgery. After only two months there was two pink lines. I FELT SO LOST!! I felt dumb feeling so lost because I have a 5 yr old and a 1 yr old...I'm practiced. I went to depths of Hell and back with them and now I felt lost? I still worry because we have 3.5 more months before we can see the baby and EVERYBODY brings up that there could be something wrong just like sissy. HELLO!!! She's adopted, that would be a breach of genetics.
In my opinion, its not about if you are ready or not because you won't be. A family is a constant change of seasons, if you will, and you never know what storms are in the forecast. However, much like a roof provides protection and comfort, a man can do the same. Knowing that you have the right person to go through life's storms with is what you need to know. The rest just sorta falls into place.
I must be pretty emotional today cause I just cried at the last comment that someone put on your blog. Geez... I am either a bundle of nerves because of the move or I am just a major softy. :)
Sarah, I think you are a GREAT mother and you have proven that with everything you have been through. I don't know if I could have been that strong but I guess you had to be. Matt is very lucky to have you and so are we as your family!
I appreciate that!! Honestly, I don't ususally talk on that level about the things that have affected me...I'm a bottle-er, but I thought it was important to share with you because of your dilemma. Don't go tellin' people that I got all intimate on you cuz I will blame it on the hormones. lol!!
It is scary, but somehow you just survive. I don't know where the money is coming from but you just shift things. (not shopping as much, not eating out as much) but I still do all those things, just not to the same extent.
The pain is different for everyone so don't listen to horror stories. I took the drugs and felt nothing. Very nice.
I will tell you this, I have never felt this kind of love before. I love my husband, but the love I have for my child is something that is amazing and no one can change it or take it away.
Have fun and the right time will just come. ;) Pratice makes perfect!
Sweetie,
Only you and Chris can decide what is best for you and Chris. Counsel with your husband, make sure you both want the same things in life. Kids are wonderful, grandkids are better (you love them and send them home when you're tired (as grandmas do get tired!)) There are pluses and minuses in every decision in life. I have confidence that you and Chris will make the correct decisions at the correct times in your lives. Love you always, Auntie M :)
WHAT IS THIS THE DAMN JOY LUCK CLUB OR THE FRICKEN VIEW? GOD WOMEN GET OVER IT...LOL
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